Christmas Gnome Jokes

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Christmas Gnome Jokes

What do gnomes fear most about Christmas?
They’re afraid Santa Claus will give them the sack!

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Put a five dollar note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.
What song do Father Christmas’ gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!

Give me a sentence with the word gnome in it!
Er…. the man’s house burnt down so…. he hadn’t a gnome to go to!

I wouldn’t say Christmas gnomes are small.
But they used to be lumberjacks on a mushroom farm!

What did the little demon do when he bought a house?
He called it Gnome Sweet Gnome.

How many gnomes do you need to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.

What is a gnome favorite Christmas movie?
Home a gnome!

What happened to the gnome tap dancer at the Christmas party?
She tipped over and fell down the drain.

Why are gnomes always late to the Christmas party?
They can’t reach the door bell.

How can you tell if a gnome’s been eating your gingerbread men?
All the knees are nibbled on.

What is 2 feet tall, wears red lederhosen, and can bench press 5 pounds at most?
A gnome on steroids.

What kind of music does a gnome listen to?
Any kind of wrap mucic.

What’s the advantage of being married to a gnome?
You can park in handicapped zones.

Why do elves and gnome dislike each other?
They have little respect!

How can you tell if you’ve been kicked by a gnome?
Your big toe hurts!

How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the gnome?
It is the one with the kickstand.

Where do you look for gnomes’ obituaries?
Under “Home Improvements.”

How many gnomes does it take to put a star on the Christmas tree?
None the can’t reach that high!

How many gnomes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Doesn’t matter, they don’t know how.

Why can’t gnomes ever find any ants in an ant hill?
The ants are too smart!

A gnome walks up to Santa and says, “I forgot to water the Christmas tree and it died.”
Well then. You are going to be one short looking Christmas tree!

What do you call a psychic gnome that’s escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.


Christmas Gnome Jokes