Christmas Present Jokes
How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack?
Only one. After then it is not empty any more.
What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift wrapper?
What did the dog get for Christmas?
A mobile bone!
Can I have a broken drum for Christmas?
The best thing you could have asked for. You can’t beat it!
What did one Christmas tree say to the other?
I’ve got a present fir you!
What do wizards use to wrap their presents?
Why did Scrooge buy everyone birds for Christmas?
He heard that they were going cheep!
What does a DJ like about Christmas?
Doing lots of rapping!
What did the farmer get for Christmas?
Can I have a puppy for Christmas?
Certainly not. You can have turkey like everybody else!
Why couldn’t the cat work out how to use her new video?
She kept pressing paws!
What did the elephant wish for Christmas?
A trunk full of gifts!
What do you give a 900-pound gorilla for Christmas?
I don’t know, but you’d better hope he likes it!
Why didn’t you get me anything for Christmas?
You told me to surprise you.
Where do you find a Christmas present for a cat?
In a cat-alogue!
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks. I’ll never part with it!
What did the caveman get his wife for Christmas?
Ughes and Kisses!
My Christmas stocking’s got a hole in it.
Of course it has. That’s to get the presents in.
“I guess I didn’t get my Christmas wish.”
“How do you know?”
‘You’re still here!”?
“Did you go shopping for my Christmas present?”
“Yeah and I found the perfect thing.”
“What’s thing is that?”
Thanks! But this Christmas gift card is all used up?