Elf Jokes

elf jokes

Elf Jokes

What do elves write on Christmas cards?
Have a fairy happy Christmas!

What is an elf’s favorite sport?
Miniature golf!

What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? 
A real Christmas Card!

Why do all elves look alike?
Because there is little difference between them.

What kind of money do elves use? 
Jingle bills!

elf jokes 105What kind of  Christmas music do elves like best?
“Wrap it up” music!

Why did the elf flunk out of school?
He had a short attention span.

What’s another name for Santa’s helpers? 
Subordinate clauses!

What is an elf’s favorite food?
Shrimp!

Who lives at the North Pole, makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin? 
Cinder-”elf”-a!

Why don’t elves read long books?
They like short stories better.

Who sings “Blue Christmas” and makes toy guitars? 
Elfis!

Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? 
Because he had low “elf” esteem!

What is an elf, who is about to retire, called?
A short timer.

Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? 
Because Santa had said, “No L!”

What did Santa say to the elf?
Don’t be little yourself!

Why does Santa owe everything to the elves? 
Because he is an elf-made man!

What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? 
“First, YULE LOGon”!

elf Jokes 2012Why do elves make good house guests?
They only stay for a short tme.

How many elves does it take to change a light bulb? 
Ten!  One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other’s shoulders!

What do elves like to start?
Small businesses!

What do you call an Elf walking backwards? 
A Fle!

Why was the el’fs sled repossessed?
He was a little behind on his payments.

Why did Santa tell off one of his elves?
Because he was goblin his Christmas dinner!

Why did the elf have to buy a new TV?
The other one kept shortening out.

What do elves sing to Santa?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow!

What do many elves die of?
Small pox!

If there were 11 elves, and another one came along, what would he be?
The twelf!

How do you describe a rich elf?
Welfy!

Santa rides in a sleigh.  What do elves ride in? 
Mini vans!

How did the little elf beat up the snowman?
Kick him in the balls!

How do elves greet each other? 
“Small world, isn’t it?”

What is an elf’s favorite desert?
Short Cake!

What do you call a wound that is caused by being stabbed by an Elf?
It’s Elf-Inflicted!

Why do elves work for Santa?
Because he is a jolly fellow!

What is big, green and packs a trunk?
An Elfephant.

What did the dying elf say?
I only have a little time left.

What nerve is used to sense elves?
The Elfactory Nerve.

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Why does no elf name being with S?
Then he would be Selfish!

Where do elves go to get fit?
An elf farm!

What do elves watch in the summer?
Little League games!

Where do you find elves? 
Depends where you left them!

What is an elf’s other job?
Short order cook!

If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? 
Mistle-toes!

How long should an elf’s legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground!

Why couldn’t the elf pay rent?
He was a little short this month!

What is a female elf called? 
A shelf!

Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band? 
Because he had the drum sticks!

Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log!

Why do elves scratch themselves?
Because they’re the only ones who know where its itchy!

How do elves get around town?
On an elephant.

Why was the elf mad?
Santa shorted him on his paycheck.

What is an elf’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Have yourself a merry, little Christmas.

When will an elf arrive?
He will arrive shortly.

Why do elves like making Ken Dolls?
They can share clothes.

What do elves do on holidays?
Take short vacation.

elf jokes 01Why do elves make terrible stockbrokers?
They always want to sell short.

What is an elf’s favorite children’s book?
Stuart Little.

Why do elves make good listerners?
They are all ears.



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