Santa Jokes

santa Jokes

Advertisement


Santa Jokes

Why does Santa take presents to children around the world? 
Because the presents won’t take themselves!

How does Santa take his photos?
With his North Pole-aroid!

Santa wins a saucepan in a competition.
Now thats what you call pot luck!

I’ve had a slight accident with your sleigh, Santa Claus!
Santa Claus: Oh no! That sleigh was in mint condition!

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window?
Looks like “rain”, “Dear”!

What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
Santapplause!

What do you call a smelly Santa?
Farta Christmas!

An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $20 bill.  Which one picked it up?
Santa!  The other two don’t exist!

What do the reindeer sing to Santa Claus on his birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!

What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a detective?
Santa Clues!

What does Santa say to the toys on Christmas Eve? 
Okay everyone, sack time!

What nationality is Santa Claus? 
North Polish!

What smells most in a chimney? 
Santa’s nose!

What’s fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels?
Santa Claus on roller skates!

What’s red & white and red & white and red & white? 
Santa Claus rolling down a hill!

Who carries Santa’s books?
His books elf!

Why does Santa Claus cry a lot?
Because he gets a little santamental!

Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
Because they both have “Sandy claws”!

Why does Santa Claus go down chimneys?
Because they soot him!

Where does Santa stay when he’s on holidays?
At a Ho-ho-tel!

What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh! Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
Santa Claus caught in a revolving door!

What does Father Christmas do in the summer?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a gardener?
Someone who likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!

What do you call Santa when he has no money? 
Saint “Nickel”-less!

What do you get if you corss Santa with a flying saucer?
A UF ho, ho, ho!

What do you call people who are scared of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!

What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Santa Claus? 
A rebel without a Claus!

What does Santa Claus call his money?
Iced lolly?

What does Santa Claus do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack!

What kind of motorcycle does Santy ride?
A “Holly” Davidson!

What’s red and green and flies? 
An airsick Santa Claus!

Why does Santa’s sleigh get such good mileage? 
Because it has long-distance runners on each side!

Who brings presents to crows at Christmas?
Santa Caws!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ?
Santa Jaws!

What’s Santa Claus called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
Santa pause!

What sort of mobile phone has Santa got?
Pay as you ho, ho, ho!

What goes ‘Ho! Ho! Ho! Thump!’?
Santa Claus laughing his head off!

What does Santa use when he goes fishing?
His north pole!

What do you get if Santa comes down the chimney while the fire is still burning? 
Crisp Kringle!

What do you call Santa Claus after he has come down the chimney?
Cinder Claus!

What rides a sleigh, gives lots of presents and has plenty of faults?
Santa Flaws!

What goes Ho-squelch, Ho-squelch, Ho-squelch?
Santa Claus with snow in his wellies.

What goes Ho-squelch, Ho-squelch, Ho-squelch, BANG?
Father Christmas with snow in his wellies in a minefield!

And what goes oh! oh! oh?
Father Christmas walking backwards.

One time Santa Claus lost his underpants.
That’s how he got the name Saint Knickerless!

How many chimneys does Santa go down? 
Stacks!

How do we know Santa is such a good race car driver? 
Because he’s always in the pole position!

What does Santa Claus eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!

Why did Santa Claus take his Christmas tree to the dentist?
To get a root canal!

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Santa Claus is a Jolly fellow! Imagine all that driving and still being able to say “Ho! Ho! Ho!

What do you say to Santa Claus when he is taking the register at school?
Present!

What is Santa Claus’s favourite drink?
Beer-d!

How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack?
One. Think about it!

Who looks after Father Christmas when he’s ill?
The National Elf Service!!!

Where did Santa get his fridge from ?
Coment! (UK Store)

What is Father Christmas’ wife called ?
Mary Chritmas!

Who is Santa’s most famous elf?
elfvis!

For Santa Jokes incartoon form head over to Santa Cartoon Jokes!

Santa Train - Santa Jokes